_everyOtherDay_

...
..Rain pourin' down again this evening...
....My hubby pick me up and get wet for me..again...and again...
...I'm worried bout him so much when he worried bout me as much...
LoL..
..

Today...
..I usually talk so much...write a lot...quite calm and happy...despite of anything happen behind me..
..Whatever...I can't control everything...so be it...
....

I love my hubby so much...
He asked me if I already felt much better than the other days...
I said I feel much better for quite some times...
...
.....

I might be too young and restless...
All my steps spontaneous and reckless...
But its me...
I should change but I made it on my way..
Its just me...
I can listen to anybody but not gonna do as they say...

Hmmmm.....
I'm so in love with this man...
I feel so lucky...
All that we've been through together more than words to complete the story..

Today..
I love my Con' glasses and Con' pair of shoes...
Hazel Con' glasses..red under black Con' shoes..
...
They've helped me through a lot...
..

My tough N' navy tote...
U're irreplaceable...
..

:D

Sittin' here..tired...sleepy...and happy... :)

Posted via email from kanajek's posterous

_justAnyOtherDay_

..
....More I'm thinkin'...more I've fell down...
Like buried alive in my deepest mind..
..
....What I've been through...
What I'm through now...
And what will be..
On and on...
Keep fullfillin' my head..
Flowin' non stop..
Drownin' me..
Pushing me much more deeper...
To my darkest fear..
To my darkest chamber of myself...
..

.....Today...29012010..
Full moon again...
..
...I've got a lot of trouble when the full moon arise...
..Each time...
Except when I've hide somewhere..
..

Like a myth..
My irrasional though about full moon..
We've never really get along..
I've born at mid day..
12.07pm to be exact..
When the sun up above me..
..Put my shadow right under my feet..
..

I've whine so much about my life should be..
And I've worked hard enough to stay where i stand my feet..
..Life's push me harder..
And I always thought I've overcome the hardest way life could possibly give me..
But I always wrong..
Each time..any other time...
Harder day pass me through..
..

In the end of the day like this..
I just sit and think again..
It's not as hard as I thought..
..I just didn't gratefull enough..
..

I've met new people today...
Even I start my day thinking so many people really annoying..
I've really known more people that really kind and flattering...
It's just amazed me sometime that I hadn't gratefull enough..
..

My friends was really kind...even at first I met them..
Like today..
I'm gratefully flattered to know them..
Made me realize there's no such thing like hardest day..
It could possibly harder at a time..
But it won't be the hardest..
Not yet..

GOD had provided me so much...
My loving family...
Kindest friends..
And amazingly strong lover...

He drove through the rain...
Hold me tight...
Love me..
And I just can't give anything..

I feel powerless...
When everyone else in my life give me so much..
And I can't do nothing for them...
I never be gratefull enough if I always think that I've through the hardest day..
I never really through it..
Coz people around me always save me from the edge..
..

The full moon laugh at me..
Shine so bright and cheers on me..
..
...I'm under the sun but I looked down to my hideous shadow..
..All I can do just feelin' hollow...
..

...None I can compare how life is...
When people through that and I've gone through this..
..
...

Today..under the full moon..
Hide and covered by rain..
Tomorrow new day will coming soon..
Sometimes I wish swept away my pain..
..

I would never know...
Is there another harder day come?..
I let myself flow..
In the end I'll find my way home..

I've walk along this street...
Many peole that I meet and greet..
They may tricky but I'll working on some treat..
I just won't give up..even I'm defeated...
..

No give up..
I won't give it up..
I've decided to live this life..
I deserved to dissappointed or sad..
But I won't give up...
Even I fell down on my knee I won't give up...
Even I buried under I'd survived and rise alive..
I won't just walk away or throw it just like that..

I've worked on it..
I've fell on it..
I've struggled...I've stumbled..
I've regret yet I've been great..
I'm doing just fine..its all've been great..

Its just any other day to live in...
Soon may just end..
..

....Am I still have another day to live in?...
..If it goes harder...I should just through it then...
..

P.S :
I may regret a lot of things I've decided recklessly..
But I'm so proud that I've been loved for who I am..without never be someone else but me..
I'm reckless...awkwardly moody..
I'm so proud to all my true friends around me..
That welcome whoever I am...whatever I'll be..
..
...I can write about them endlessly..
Flowing through my head..I don't know how even I started and finished it quickly..
..All I can say "THANK YOU" with all my heart and love, for ur faith in me..
GodBless us...anything happen next..wishin' we stronger enough to get through however it'll be..

XoXoXo...mucho besos...me enamore de ti..

Posted via email from kanajek's posterous

_notMe..justMe_

I need to stop thinking...for a while..

Posted via email from kanajek's posterous

_whichPartOfMeWouldn'tBe?HA!_

..
...I always messy...
Literally...
..
....Not such a trouble maker but I invite it to comes like anyhow...
..
...I know that I'm going to reckless to decide while I'm under rage...
I just can't help it..
And when I realize..I've already under pressure to clean all the hot mess...
...
.....Oops!!..

..Well...I admit it quite stressfull...
Somehow like adrenalin injection...
Rush me...
Blow me up!...
Kinda enjoy it...
..Pretty sick huh?..
Hahaha...

Despite of my lazy ass...I know I can pass that line...
Walk further...
Reach higher...
Somehow each trouble I've made got me there...
...
...Part of me can't handle it...
I should stay faaaar away from trouble...
Getting looow....real low...
..
...And again somehow it diggin' more trouble ahead...
..

Well..I guess no one ever reach anything by doing nothing right?..
Or is there?..
However...
Why should always troubles that pushing me to the borderline?...
Made me racing against myself...
I don't care how the result come out...
I just feel better when I've gone further...
..
...Feeling like here I am where I never thought I'll be...
I made it here..at this point...
Beyond my limitations...
...

And forget it after...
LoL..

At least I knew I've been there..and it feels GREAT!!...

Hooaaheemmzzzz.......down under now.... Classy...
Hahahahaha............

Posted via email from kanajek's posterous

_1001night_

.
...
.
.....Its the night when a princess of far away land told stories every night to save her head from the knife...
.
...
.
....Those stories eternally whispered to all over the world thousand years after...
.
...
.

Romantis..tp ga ada hubunganna sama apa yang akan kutulis..
Malam ini hujan deras...lagi...
Januari dan februari slalu jd bulan2 terdingin di berbagai belahan dunia..
.
Dan skali lg ga ada hubunganna..
Kangen..
Hahahahaha...

..Whatever happen last nite..stayed forever as last nite..
Maksudnaaaa???...
Ga ada..
Au' ah..
Ga jelas...
.
...
.I'm a dreamer...
..
Haven't found anything interesting to write..yet..
Actually got some..
But I'll keep it instead..
Hahahaha...
.
...Gnite..
.Save Earth..
(Ga nyambung lg...)

P.S : hari ini hari ga nyambung...doh..dot meju!.. :p

Posted via email from kanajek's posterous

_S.T.U.P.I.D_me..

Wack!!!...

That's all I can react...
.

..Embarrasing!!!!...
.

. :p

Posted via email from kanajek's posterous

_i'mOkay_LoL ;)

.About this picture..
.
..My hubby worried about me lately..
He said I'm intend to worried about someone else rather than keep up with my own..
.
..I often get sick...
Perhaps that's why I could care less...
Coz it feels like daily "normal" situation..
.

I found this anime to describe the situation...
Kind of hillarious for me..
Coz the way she acts like nothing happened while actually she got bandage all over her body..
.
Hahahaha...
Everyone should be worried..
I'll try more concern about my health from now on..
Coz I want appreciate everyone who loved me..
My hubby and my fams.. :)

Posted via email from kanajek's posterous

_LiveOnBothSide_

..
.....I'm good...and I'm bad...
..I was good..and I was bad...
....I'll be good...or I'll be bad..
..

...I'm optimist yet pessimist..
I'm introvert yet extrovert..
..I can be so cool and ignorant...
Yet could be on fire and raging blind...
..

I shout out loud yet whispering soft..
My head full of thought yet I stay numb and not so tough..
The words should unspoken yet flowing out my mouth..
My ego satisfied yet my heart hurt..
..

I keep myself down low...bring curiosity...
I speak my mind out loud...some people laugh at me..
I ignore what they said...they tell me I'm snobby...
I don't know why they try to hurt me...am I make them look like bunch of goofies?...
..

I never thought I'm smart yet I'm not stupid...
They keep judging me without knowing me a bit..
I shut my mouth...never complain for anything they did..
So why bother me as if like I need to get rid?..
..

...For all haters yet I had much more supporters...
I'm not claiming right or wrong...I just want to get better...
I never done my best afterall...seems to be just a trouble maker..
I'll take the blame..so would you haters get all of this over?..

..Sick and tired...
...I'm no longer excited...
If u want to play around..
Sorry I'm no longer companion..
..

I live on both side of this socially construction..
I had to choose my step almost each second..
I'm defensive when I'm offended...
I can put so many face and I can stand barenaked...

I can unleash a wisefull frame...
and could be real damage when my primitive's untamed..

At the end...
I just trying to survive it...
But I ain't angel, this flesh called human..
I'll learn much more..instead of regret it...
..

If life needs both side to fit...
So be it..
..
.....

Posted via email from kanajek's posterous

_thoseBalls_

.HA!!!
....It moves!!!...
..Yay!!..

I'll clean it up more often...
.Soo happy find my BaBi can shake it all over again...
Gyahahahahaha~~..
Thanks God..
..I thought I have to let u go...jejeje...
.

and that's conclude today story as we reconcile..
And we're gonna happily ever after...
Hwahahahaha... ;p

Wow..today was great...
My hubby pick me up...
And my friend, BaBi...had healed...
..and also I've got my soup today on supper..
Nyummmmm....

Life's felt hard before getting easier...
That's just how it felt..
It won't be the same each time..
So enjoy it..
Sad or cry if u need to...
Smile and laugh for each moment I've been through..
.

...XoXo....XoXo...

Posted via email from kanajek's posterous

_Eat!!!_

..I love to eat...
But my stomach always try to pull it out!..
Each meal time is a WAR..
Battle against my own stomach..weks!...
..

Sometimes I'd rather not eat..or just take small grab each hour...it helps me eat better and acumulate more food inside..
..But I can't do that all the time..

While people just tellin' me "u should eat right.."
"U've grown up...u should know that u should take care of urself!"
"Why don't u eat rice?"
"That's a really small portion..u should eat more..do u try to diet?"
"R u dieting?.."

Aaaarrrggghhh!!!
I'm not dieting!
I should put this food little by little!
If I eat a bunch of food in one shot, I'll make myself sick!...

Why no one understand?...

I can't..
I have to pretend I can spend all that food..then feel really sick after without anyone knowing how I feel inside my stomach...
..

..Sigh...why bother anyway?...
.

Note : this is just fiction story.. :P

Posted via email from kanajek's posterous

_gapenting_

.
..I'd rather sleep..
.
...
.
....
.
......
.
...

Posted via email from kanajek's posterous

_MyPersonalityTestResult_

Here's what they said about me after the test :

You Are Carefree and Passionate..

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life.
You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip.
People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.
You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.
You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!

You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life.
You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone.
Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.
You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.
You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

_______+++______

Well..thanks doc...
That's HUGE motivation for a clumsy girl like me..

Posted via email from kanajek's posterous

_myGastroIntestine_

.
...Kembung selalu...
.Sulit lapar..
Perih saat lapar..
Ga bs makan dengan porsi langsung banyak..
Porsi sedikit perut cepat kosong dan perih..
..
.Asam lambung serasa mengisi rongga mediasternum...
Nyeri ulu hati...
Agak sesak klo lapar..
.Mual klo kenyang..
..

...pantangan makan : daging, pedas, nangka muda, santan, asam, soda,..sgala yg merangsang produktivitas asam lambung dan smua yg nyusahin usus untuk mencerna itu ga boleh dimakan..

Tp dari dulu pe sekarang ga prnh bnr2 dpt penjelasan medis sakit apa..
Maag kah? Tipus saja kah? Gastritis kah?..
Ato udh ada ulcerasi di duodenum?..
Huaaaaa....
Klo emg ada komplikasi apa namana?..
Yg ga beres tu sbnrna lambungna? Ususna? Ato keseluruhan gastrointestinalna?..
..

...
....Smoga diberi umur panjang dan kesehatan..
.
...

Posted via email from kanajek's posterous

_FIFA'sWorldCup2010_itsComing!! =D

...
..Kmrn dpt coke gratis...
Mskipun ga suka soda..ikut aja ngantre...hehehe..
...
..Ada official theme songna coke itu bt world cup...
..K'naan - wavin' flag -
..Keren!!!..

I love the mix of reggae, hip hop and R&B...

Sayangna official song bt world cupna sndiri masih all around youTube aja...
...What get me so excited was AKON as the producer!!...YaY!!!...hahaha..

I love him soooo much!!!..
I like what they've done...
All black people got the rythm of their culture in their blood..
They brought it everywhere they are...
It's like that's what made them...
U can definitely recognize their music..
I love that beat..la la la...hahaha...

From so long hurt history....they've shown who they really are...
Its not just them...all those stereotype..all the blame...
We were..we did...all of us..despite of what your color...
Whatever your religion..
Whatever your past has done...
Are u jew..are u moslem...
Whatever hater said...

World cup always be a great gift... :)

Excited! Excited!!!...
...YaY..!! Jiggy..jiggy.....
*cant wait to dance!!...

I'm on Panser Team by the way..
My hubby got St.george Cross on his side..
So who do you expect??...
Let's celebrate!!...
...

Posted via email from kanajek's posterous

_mendadak"Dangdut"_

..Jiiaaaah...poink...
Brasa kesambet akhir2 ini...
Dari oneng tiba2 mendadak "dangdut"...

Biasana memang suka baca...baca ini itu...
Yang ringan dan ga penting...
Lately..suka baca yang agak berat pe beraaaat banget...kayana..
Gara2 kebanyakan waktu luang dan situasi mendukung..halah..
Secara hujan melulu...jdna ngelungker ga jelas di rumah dan cm ditemenin BaBi_ku..
Utak atik...
Klik sana klik sini...
Eh taw2na banyak dibahas di kampus..
Gileee...jd keranjingan baca...

Dr anak yg pasif comment ma opini org..skrg jd "gatel" gmna gtu klo denger yg ga pas...
Macam orang denger lagu dangdut...
Klo cengkokna ga pas kan ga enak banget dengerna..ga brasa dangdut!!!...
*hwakakakakak...

Nah..supaya dpt feel ma cengkok dangdutna...
Makana jd perlu banyak referensi...
Jd keranjingan baca..baca..dan baca...
Hohohohoho...
Ga sia2 applausna...mendadak dangdutna lumayan sukses..
Bikin ketagihan...hwahahahaha....
Pe bela2in bikin lidah keseleo gara2 baca referensi asing...
Dangdut banget daaaahhh!!!!...

Anyway busway...kesambet ato ga..yg jelas moga2 jd prubahan yang positif...
Cuma riweh dan ribetna itu jd tambah insomnia klo ada konfrontasi yg belum beres...
Kepikiraaaan trus....
Shubuh2 melototin komputer bikin konsep...
Padahal blm tentu bener ato di denger...
Cuma buat muasin diri aja...
Dangdut-addicted...jiiiaaaaahhhh! Parah!...
Hahahahaha....

Itulah sekilas mendadak "dangdut"na saya... ;P
.....

Posted via email from kanajek's posterous

_GettingBetter_

..Kemarin bisa nrayain siwaratri berdua...
Ngobrol dan diskusi sambil nunggu sembahyang yang berikutna...
Bersyukur banget..
Biasana klo ada hari raya galungan, kuningan dan lain-lainnya selalu ada aja halanganna buat nrayain bareng...
Tapi udh beberapa hari raya ini bisa sama-sama....
Seneeeeng bgt..bgt... =D

...So in love with him...hehehe...
.....
..Enjoyed the time together...duduk dan bicara...
Simple thing but so much fun to do..
Especially with someone who can really connected to me..
...Bisa menuntun dan membimbingku...
.......Membuka cara pandang yang baru...
...Melihat dari sisi lain...dan tidak tertutup pada satu jawaban..
...That's why I keep falling in love...
We're more than lover...
More than friends..
We could be everything and I hope it never ends... XD

One of our topic...give me this point of view..
Right or wrong...I don't have a clue..
But my mind..my thoughts were my independent..
If anyone can't accept it...I apologized but I mean no offend... =)

...Ada yang bilang..siwaratri moment menebus dosa...
Siwaratri moment introspeksi diri...
Siwaratri moment pengendalian diri...
...

.....buat aku...
..Siwaratri adalah alarm reminder bagi yang sering lupa...seperti aku contohna..
...
..Aku berpikir sama terhadap hari raya yang lain..
....Momen2 itu adalah alarm bagi kita yang lupa untuk sejenak mengingat kembali hakikat hidup kita...
...Akan jauh lebih baik bila esensi dari smua hari raya itu tetap ada setiap waktu dalam diri kita...
....
.....Ketenangan jiwa....kerendahan hati...puja pada sang Kuasa...setiap waktu..setiap saat...

...Aku lupa...
...Aku merasa memiliki keterbatasan diri...even though we are more far beyond our limitation...
.....Makana para leluhur terus menceritakan kembali hikayat kehidupan dan kuasa Tuhan...
Agar setidaknya...sesaat dari hidup kita...mengingat dan mengintrospeksi diri...
...
....Walau kemudian lupa lagi... =P hahaha...
..
...

....However....siwaratri hanya salah satu dari sebuah malam yang suci....
....Aku yakin berkah dan ampunan selalu dilimpahkan setiap saat...setiap waktu tak terbatas perputaran bumi maupun bintang-bintang....tak terbatas siang maupun malam... bagi siapa saja yang mau menyadari dan kembali ke jalan dharma dengan tulus dan segala kerendahan hati...
...Dewa Siwa akan melebur dan memberkati
kembali jiwanya...
...
.....Brahman was deep inside us....
.....Each one of us...
....We keep searching the truth that had never been going anywhere..nowhere...
..Its just deep within....
....Beyond our consciousness...
..
...Wish I could find it....
I wish...
..

Posted via email from kanajek's posterous

_tiktok_

...
..
....*clingakClinguk..
..
.....
..
..
....*duduk...*berbaring...*bergulingGuling....
..
....(EmgnaAnjing??!!!#@!) :P
....
......
..
...*mati gaya...
..
.......
..
...........*insomnia...
..
...
.......
..
.................
...
....*berdoa....
..
.......
..
.........................Zzzz.............

Posted via email from kanajek's posterous

_SiwaRatri_

....
..Tomorrow, we'll celebrate Siwaratri. Siwaratri means literally as the night of shiva...( Ratri : night)
....
..The day of meditation and introspection...
.....

..Momen untuk membangun pengendalian diri terhadap 'sad ripu', terdiri atas kemarahan, kelobaan, kenafsuan, kemabukan, iri hati, dan keculasan...

....Merenung...
..
....Bermeditasi...
..
.......Hanya ada saia...dan sang pencipta...
..
.....Mengosongkan pikiran dari hal-hal yang memenuhi jiwa...
...
....Sejenak....
..Meresapi kembali diri saia...
....Yang terlewatkan....
..Yang terlupakan...
....

.....Saia punya banyak kekhawatiran....
...Banyak hal yang saia pikirkan...
.....Banyak hal yang saia pelajari semakin saia bertambah dewasa....
...Saia juga tempatna khilaf dan lupa...
....

....semoga saia bisa terus mawas diri, tidak iri hati maupun dengki, tetap sabar dan tidak mudah terbawa emosi.....
menjalani hidup sesuai dharma...
Meskipun tak luput dari salah dan dosa...semoga selalu diberi petunjuk dan pengampunan oleh Sang Hyang Dharma...
....
.......Om Santhi Santhi Santhi....Om...

Posted via email from kanajek's posterous

_scatteredPieces_

  
Download now or listen on posterous

Natasha_Bedingfield_Unwritten.mp3 (978 KB)

.....Huaaa...
..Sebagian orang mengingat pasti tanggal dan hari..
Bahkan menghitung dengan detail sudah berapa lama bersama...
Berapa tahun..berapa bulan..berapa hari...
...

Saia punya ingatan yang kurang baik....
...Semua kenangan hidup saia tercampur aduk di benak saia...
...
.....Saia punya kecenderungan menyimpan hal-hal remeh yang saia pikir sayang untuk dibuang...
...
....Saat saia harus menata ulang barang saia lagi..
..Barang-barang remeh itu muncul lagi dan merefresh ingatan saia...
...Membuat saia tertawa...terharu...bahkan menangis..
...

......Beberapa hari ini saia menemukan benda-benda kecil yang ternyata masih saia simpan...
..
.....Kepingan-kepingan kecil masa lalu....
..
....Ada baut cadangan helm...
..Melihatnya saia teringat hari-hari naas saat dalam sehari kami harus membeli helm 2 kali dan itu tidak murah untuk kantong kami saat itu...
...
..Mengingatkan saia juga bahwa kekasih saia punya sikap perfeksionis dan ternyata tidak secuek yang saia bayangkan..
...Dia punya porsi atas apa yang bisa dianggap remeh atau tidak..
..
...Kejadian hilangnya helm2 itu juga membuat saia tergelak saat ini...
..Saia kurang ingat apakah helm itu hilang di hari yg sama atau minggu yg sama..

....Stiker tato sebuah konser.....
..saia bukan penggemar konser....saia mungkin termasuk golongan "nerd" karena tidak gaul atau funky...
...Saia lebih menikmati private time listening my beloved friends singing for me...
Drpd harus berdesakan..ato kepanasan di kerumunan org..
..
....Berbeda dgn kekasih saia yang populer di sekolahnya dan terbiasa dengan panggung dan banyak orang..
...Meskipun ternyata dia lebih introvert daripada saia...
...

..Untuk pertama kalinya saia pergi ke konser besar...
...Dia berhasil membujuk saia untuk menemaninya demi mendapatkan tanda tangan Donny "ADA" band sebagai hadiah ulang tahun kakaknya..
...
.....Hari yg menyenangkan dan melelahkan...
..Kami menyogok orang dengan paket Bento supaya dia mau memintakan tanda tangan untuk kami..
...Fiiuuuhhh...hahaha...

Terlalu banyak benda untuk diceritakan lagi...
...Disket? jaman batu?...hahaha..
....Pin?...
....Name tag dengan foto jadul...
.....
..MMC yang pernah membuat saia cemburu.. ;p
.....Aaah~~~...
..Benda-benda ini..... :)

Ada banyak kenangan terkuak dengan satu benda kecil...
...Bagi saia yang sering lupa....benda kecil ini sangat berarti...
...Tapi suatu saat...seperti saat ini...saat saia harus menata ulang barang-barang saia..
Saia harus merelakan beberapa barang untuk disingkirkan...

SAMA SEPERTI KEHIDUPAN...
...KITA MENYIMPAN MASA LALU...
.....MENGUAKNYA DENGAN SENGAJA ATAU TIDAK....
...MENGENANGNYA...
......MERASAKAN SAKIT DAN BAHAGIA...
..TP CEPAT ATAU LAMBAT...
....KITA HARUS BENAR-BENAR MERELAKANNYA...
..KARENA KITA HARUS MELANGKAH MAJU...
...MENOREHKAN KENANGAN-KENANGAN BARU...
...

...I have to move on another chapter....
.....Let go of all had written behind...
..Its painfull...its beautiful...
...And it had already done...
....
.....What's next?...

"....Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still UNWRITTEN...."

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_AllowMe2BeSelfish_

.....No...
..I want it...
....No...
..I can't give up on it...
....No..
..I said no...to let it go..
...Once again no..
.....I'm ready to fight for it...
..

Sorry...
..I didn't mean to hurt anybody..
...Sorry..
....I never thought that I would fall in deeply..
....And I'm so sorry....
..I can't just left it all and make you happy...
...Once again I'm sorry....
.....I believe this is called destiny....
..

....Maybe...
..My decision is reckless...
..Maybe..
....This could be reach its best...
..So maybe...
.....There's equal possibility...
..And it's just maybe...
......its already written for me...
..

....Forgive me....
..For didn't care of ur story....
....Forgive me...
..I'm sure we really understand how it feels badly..
....I ask u to forgive me....
..Because I forgive u...whatever had been...we've cried the same tears for it only...
....I beg u to forgive me...
..Forgive urself....and whatever happen lately...
...

....Yes..
..I've stumble and fall...
....Yes...
..I've cried late nite and sometimes regret all...
...Yes...
..Even its so hard...I will always stand tall...
...I've proved to you and yes....
....The winner takes all...
.......
..

.....

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_TellMe_

Dimelo by Enrique Iglesias  
Download now or listen on posterous

Enrique_Iglesias_Insomniac_Dimelo.mp3 (1711 KB)

....Dímelo....
Tú dímelo....
Dímelo.....
....
....
......
..
¿Dímelo por que estas fuera de mi?
Y al mismo tiempo estas muy dentro
Dímelo sin hablar y hazme sentir todo lo que yo ya siento

Después yo te veo y tú me miras
Y Vamos a comernos nuestra vida
Yo no voy a conformarme inventándote
Siempre ha sido así
Por que yo no puedo despegarme de ti
Cuanto más quiero escaparme más me quedo
Mirándote a los ojos sin respirar
Esperando un solo gesto para empezar

¿Dímelo por que estas fuera de mí?
Y al mismo tiempo estas muy dentro Dímelo sin hablar y hazme sentir todo lo que yo ya siento

Dímelo suave
Dímelo fuerte
Dímelo fuerte

Dímelo suave
Dímelo por fin de una vez

Me gusta de ti lo mucho que me gustas
Y que poco me perdono dentro de mí
No tenemos nada que perder
Y tenemos demasiado que vivir

Dímelo

Si yo no quiero o lo quiero dímelo y después olvídate de todo

Quiero

Las buenas nuevas siempre son así
Y las malas que se alejen ya de mi

¿Dímelo por que estas fuera de mí?
Y al mismo tiempo estas muy dentro
Dímelo sin hablar y hazme sentir todo lo que yo ya siento

"Baby.....Dimelo yoTequiero...."

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_Hooaaheemmzz_

....
..Insomniac....
.....
..Klo dulu..bisa ngobrol pe pagi sama sayangku...
Hahahaha...
...Dia bilang sejak dari qt temenan "...klo ga bs tidur,telp J** ya..."...*padahal krna ada promo nelp gratis tgh mlm..hahahaha...
...Kasian juga jadina...alna aku sering banget insomnia...
...Meskipun dia selalu excited dan ga pernah ngeluh klo tiba2 di telpon...pernah skali dia ketiduran sambil nelpon..
Hohoho...lucu...tp melaaas bgt rasana...hehehe..
...
....
..I can really sleep in your arms...
....When you hold me tight...
Ur heartbeat is my lullaby...
....
..
....Begadang pe pagi berdua....
...Ngobrol ga jelas...
......Cuma pengen ngabisin waktu...
..Padahal malang tu dingin banget.....
....
..Pernah kita ke Batu jam 3 pagi...
....Gila BEKU!!...
..Cuma bisa berpelukan kuat-kuat...
....
..Senangnaaa.... XD
Hehehehehe....
.....
..
..
...He takes care of me well...
.....Dia hati-hati banget klo maw nelpon mlm2..
Psti sms dulu mastiin aku masih bangun ato ga..
Klo ga di bls...dia ga bakal nelpon..
...Pagina aku suka manyun klo trnyata aku ketiduran dan ga bs telp2an mlm...childlish bgt...hahahaha..

...Its like heaven...
..Ur arms surrounded me...
....Ur breathe calm...
..Ur skin linger on me...
....
..Ur scent all over...
..I wanna keep it longer...
...I wanna lay with u forever...
.....My dreams come true and even better...
..
.....

...

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....Mama dan Ibu..

Mama sm ibu itu mirip...
Mukana juga agak mirip...kayana..hehehe...

Sm2 udh ditinggal org terkasih yg mereka kagumi dan cintai sepenuh hati..

Klo mama suka pepsi....ibu suka coca cola.. (Sori nyebut merek..ga brmksd promosi..hehehe...jangan dituntut ya..pliss :) )

My mom was a tough woman...
Tahan banting...very neat...a lil' too much I guess...jdna kaya' obsessive compulsive gtu ma kerapian rumah..( Beda bgt ma anakna yg pemalas ini..hikzz..jgn2 ank pungut neh? Hohoho..)
Jd klo maw jalan ma mama tu ga prnh bs on time..
Msti gni gtu dulu...ribet sangat lah pokokna..
Maklum bgt sih...however I'm so proud of her..
Single mother..single fighter since I was 9..
I wish I could give her more...
My hubby said I was pretty much like her...
Tp kayana mama lbh kuat deh..hehehe..
Love her..so much XOXO
Maafin 'No klo srg nyusahin hati mama...
..Klo lg konslet gtu, jd ga dengerin mama deh..
...I'll try to get better each day..

Ibu...
That's how I called my hubby's mom..
Wktu prtama kali maw dikenalin, duh bingung setengah mati...
Kebayang tuh yg kaya di sinetron2 gtu..
Ato di crita2 novel..majalah..gtu2 deh..
Jd parno sndiri...
Takut klo dia galak..ato dia ga suka bajuku...ato lbh parah lg klo dia ga suka aku pcrn ma anakna..
Huuuaaaaa......
Segala lebaynisme-ku kluar...
Tp untungna cm sebatas anganku aja..hohohoho...
She's a smiley woman...
Slowly but sure...jd ga jaim lg...
Nyamaaaan bgt....
So visiting my hubby's house was a delight for me...
Hehehe...
Makasih bu bt open arms na...
Moment2 ngobrol brdua soal my hubby...
We have a lot in common...
I like her so much...
Dia jg ngasi byk nasihat dan point of view soal cinta dan gimana nyikapin masalah2 dgn bijaksana...
Gimana nyikapin baik burukna suamiku nanti...
Hehehehe....she helps me so much....
I'm so lucky and feel blessed...
...

Bt mama dan ibu...
U're both best role model of my life...
I'm so gratefull to be part of ur life...
...

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Stop questioning...start to answer..

.....
..
.........I usually wants everything to get answered...
..I'm asking so much questions...
....Questions that actually I won't pleased by the answer....
..But I keep pushing on....
....It drives me crazy...
..It puts me on negative way to get point of view...
....When I can't get an answer...I'll be wondering what would be the answer...
Keep wondering.....wasting my time for every thought that never ends...
...
.....
..It'll ruined my faith...ruin my belief...
...

I have to let it go...
...I have to quit asking more questions about how it could happen or how would my life be....
....
..I should start make the answer....
....Rather than push every one else to give me one..

How each thing could happen to me? The past.the present?...
It's all on me...
...I was there...I made my best..I made my worse..
..I had through that and so be it...
....I should learn...
..I should forgive....
....Forgive myself....
..And everyone else...
...
In the law of forgiveness told...
"...Forgiveness is a heavy and difficult subject that should be incorporated into your life in a positive way.  As emotional and stubborn people, we hold onto anger and resentment for years.  We allow old pain to have a large and negative role in our lives as long as we keep ourselves from truly forgiving and moving on..."

Forgiveness is about me...not about someone else...
When I sincerely forgive..I will stop questioning...
I will stop blaming...

How would my life be?..
If I want something..I should go for it...
...Try to reach till my final limit...
......And sincerely understand when I should give up and let Go..
..What I've done...is what I will be...
..What I realize...what I regret and fix...
What I'm through...
Is what I will be....is what made me to be...
...

If I can let negative things inside me....it means I can also pull it out....
I have to...
...I will try to...
Whether I failed or not....
..At least I will give a shot....
......

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__E'thing2Me__

  
Download now or listen on posterous

Glenn_Fredly_My_Everything.mp3 (1157 KB)

...
.
.........
...
.............
......
.
...I will never let you go.....
Coz u're my everything...
......
.
.......

.Our sight...on a cross road...
...
.Our silhoutte...under the moon light...
.....
.
...Our heart.....reachin'.....
.Our heart...beat in the same rhythm...
...The blood..rushin' through our veins.......
.....Our passion climb higher like a fountain....
...
......Our touch....
.Our kiss..
...Our embrace.......
......Our HuShhh....
...Our secret..our whispers......
.
..........Ours.....us....
..

...Its never be about you.....
......Never about me...
.

Those moments...
...Those were...........OuRs...
.

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__JR__

Bersamamu  
Download now or listen on posterous

vierra_bersamamu.mp3 (998 KB)

Memandang wajahmu cerah
Membuatku tersenyum senang
Indah dunia
Tentu saja kita pernah mengalami perbedaan
Kita lalui
Tapi aku merasa
Jatuh terlalu dalam cintamu
Ku tak akan berubah
Ku tak ingin kau pergi s’lamanya

Ku kan setia menjagamu
Bersama dirimu dirimu
Sampai nanti akan s’lalu
Bersama dirimu

Saat bersamamu kasih
Ku merasa bahagia dalam pelukmu
Tapi aku merasa jatuh terlalu dalam cintamu
Ku tak akan berubah
Ku tak ingin kau pergi s’lamanya

Seperti yang kau katakan
Kau akan selalu ada
(Kau akan selalu ada)
Menjaga memeluk diriku dengan cintamu
Dengan cintamu

Saat bersamamu kasih
Ku merasa bahagia dalam pelukmu

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"Orang Gila" dan buku Pramoedya Ananta Toer...

.......
...Satu hari lagi di sumpekna bus kota...
..........
...

....Pedagang asongan lalu lalang...
Jual makanan...minuman....
..Senter serbaguna....kamus bahasa...
..Sampai alat kebutuhan rumah tangga...
....

Pengamen jg ga kalah kreatifna...
Dari yg pakai alat musik lengkap..atau radio tape...sampai yg pakai bahasa gagu...
...

Pengemis jg bergantian naik turun..mengitari smua penumpang seperti kondektur bus yg trus berkeliling...hanya beda tarif...
...
......

Terkadang ada beberapa pertunjukan yg jarang ada...misalna sulap...atau pertunjukan kemampuan mimik wajah...atau gerak tubuh yg ga biasa...

...

Sore ini lumayan sepi penumpang...
Bisa dpt tempat duduk untuk perjalanan yg lmyn panjang cukup melegakan...
Seperti biasa...bus kota adalah "kantor" yg bs menampung ratusan "pekerja kreatif"na...
....

...
...Suara tawa....gerakan2 tubuhna seakan tak terkendali dan tak peduli...
...Ada yg tercengang..maupun bergidik ngeri..
Bertanya-tanya...apa yg dilakukannya disini?...
..

...
...Bukan krna dia kelihatan muda...walau wajahnya ditumbuhi kumis dan jenggot..serta penampilan yg kumal layakna orang gila...
..Bukan karna tingkah anehnya...
..
.....

..Raut wajahnya ceria....bagiku tawanya aneh...
Aku menatapnya,dan dia tertawa ria...
..Tingkahnya sama sekali tidak lucu bagiku..
...Aneh..gila...
..

...
Di tangannya ada sebuah buku yg dia tandai halamannya dgn sela jarinya...
Terlihat olehku "realisme sosialis"...
....Aneh...

Ia mulai aksinya dengan membawakan sajak tentang politisi...
Aku tidak begitu memperhatikan ucapannya atau mengingat kata-katanya..
Aku hanya tersenyum ke luar jendela dan mendengarkan suara lantangnya..

Perhatianku sempat teralih saat beberapa wanita yang baru saja naik langsung turun lagi karena takut dengan "org gila"...
Tawa geliku menarik perhatian "orang gila" itu..
...Dia tertawa2 lalu kembali menghayati sajaknya..
..

....sajak kedua adalah sajak taman ismail marzuki...
Yg kuingat hanya bait ini ".....saia org gila....anda org jujur...
Siapa yang lebih jujur antara orang gila dan orang jujur?..."
...Aneh...
Untuk seseorang yg buta sastra sptku...aku merasa aneh...
Tp ada perasaan senang saat mendengarkan ceritanya..
Suaranya lantang...
Ritmenya...

Sementara orang2 mulai menganggap "orang gila" ini waras...
Aku bnr2 maw taw buku apa itu...
Apa itu realisme sosialis?..
...

Dia blg dia lebih suka bahasa jerman drpd bahasa inggris karena lebih hidup....
Bahasa inggris menurutnya tidak kreatif...
Dia bahkan mengucapkan beberapa bahasa jerman...
Entah benar atau tidak...
...

Kemudian dia melantunkan sajak dari seorang sastrawan jerman yang menceritakan hidup nelayan...
...

Aku ga bs menyimak lagi kata2na karena buku yg dipegangnya terbaca dan terlihat jelas olehku...
Aku ga taw apa patut kuberikan uang seribu rupiah di tanganku...
Sptnya "org gila" itu tahu pikiranku...
Dia tersenyum dan berlalu...

Walau aku ga taw sastra...
Walau tulisan di blogku ga sesuai tata bahasa...
Aku taw dan bangga pada penulis buku yg ada di tgn "orang gila" yg baru saja memegang karyanya...

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My 2009 review

New year eve 2009 sendiri2 di tempat kerja...
Our first NYE apart after 3 years...
Kind of romantic to watch same fireworks in different place...

Keputusan plg penting tahun lalu adlah resign dan mulai kuliah lg...
Sempet bingung banget...
Tanya sana sini..
Mama...temen2 kantor...atasan...kakakna sayangku...
Berembug lmyn alot sm hubby..

We used to talk everything together...balance our lives... Balance our thought and trying to see in each other point of view...even if it leads us to a huge fight...we should worked it out...we had to..
When there's seems like no way out..we give times to each other...
We must sacrifice a thing or two to reach something...
Its not just one of us who'd been sacrifice...but those step would be our sacrifice..
None get more or less...even if we think so...
I often think so..I used to think I've sacrificed more...
But again...its not just me..not just us by person..
But it's a teamwork...we build a connection...
Build our lives..and it doesn't really matter who cut the wood or who paint the wall between us..
Coz we know we're together in this point...
We're both trying...
We're both worked it out...

And after bla..bla..bla...LoL..
Akhirna bulat sudah dan nekat kuliah lg..
I should keep my responsibilities about this decision..

2009 jg hari bahagia bt kakakna J..
We're happy for them...
I respect them both and like them a lot..
I had a great times ngumpul sm keluarga camer...
Mreka bikin aku nyaman bgt..dan bisa jd diri sendiri...
Pertama kali ktmu keluarga camer tu thn 2007..
Deg2an abiiisss....
Tp trnyata ibu tu welcome bgt...bt aku, ibu tu kereeeen bgt...
Itu nanti deh dbhs lg..hehehe...

2009 jg awal dr rencana thn 2010 ini yg smoga diberkati Sang Hyang Widhi dan berjalan lancar... XD
*makin deg2an....makin excited...

Pulkam sm J jg lbh srg di rmh camer....
Bonding with his family was a really great times..

God Bless Us All...
For better or worse...we walk it through together.. :)

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Januari untuk saia :)

  
Download now or listen on posterous

Gigi_Januari.mp3 (829 KB)

Berhubung nge blog lagi bln januari..opening actna judulna januari jg.. Meskipun sbnrna pertama ketemu bukan bulan januari..hehehehe...

Tiap harina brasa bgt...
Lagu ini trmasuk dlm kata2 romantis dadakanna yg ga taw dah dia sadar ato ga blgna..hahahaha...just typically him..

"........Bertemu...
Menjalani Kisah Cinta Ini
Naluri Berkata Engkaulah Milikku
Bahagia Selalu Dimiliki
Bertahun Menjalani Bersamamu
Kunyatakan bahwa Engkaulah jiwaku


Akulah Penjagamu
Akulah Pelindungmu
Akulah Pendampingmu
Di setiap langkah-langkahmu


Pernahku Menyakiti Hatimu
Pernah kau melupakan janji ini
Semua Karena kita ini manusia


Akulah Penjagamu
Akulah Pelindungmu
Akulah Pendampingmu
Di setiap langkah-langkahmu

Kau bawa diriku
Kedalam hidupmu
Kau basuh diriku
Dengan rasa sayang
Senyummu juga sedihmu adalah Hidupku
Kau sentuh cintaku dengan lembut
Dengan sejuta warna"

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....FinallyStart...again..LoL

Blogging another way to writing...whatevs..LoL

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