a message to us...

AllAbout...

I've said this many times...
No matter what people think or said about u..
U're the one who handle it..
U're the one who have the key to it..
Its ur choice to be what people said about u...or make urself better no matter what the stereotype put on u..
Coz in the end..they'll see who u really are..
If u still think negative..it would affect all aspect in ur life to be negative..
Believe it or not its true..
U can deny it...but inside u must feel so miserable..
So unstable and insecure...
Coz u always though everything in a negative ways..
U always run from it..
Faking it with temporary pleasure..and after u'll still stuck with ur negativity and being miserable all over again..

I don't mean to teach u or feels like I'm the most positive person in the world..
I've down that road before..it was so miserable and killing me inside..
That's why I share this coz I don't want any other person feel the same way I did that time..
It ruined everything in your life slowly..
U lost ur faith to the thruth and lost ur way to see clearly..
Coz ur head getting stigmatized..u easily believe something negative..
U keep running..hoping time would erase ur problem away..but it just would erase ur good life away..

With negativity,u lived ur life like hell..u don't know what to do and keep asking people around u..its lucky if any other people around u cared so much, I mean a "real" care to take u back in a good mind set..if they just help u run away..u'll just gonna fall deeper..
U'll get home with emptiness..coz nothing u'll get with running away..
The worse thing happen if u don't realize that happiness u pursue is not an escape..u consider it just a refreshing..no its not..its ur denial..

Its so sad if a person...a human being that had given a life and power to choose what's right..gettin wrong turn and so miserable...while happiness just around the corner..

The bottomline is all of us always have opportunity to change..always..
Embrace a serenity and peace in ur heart..
Listen to ur heart..look down to other that less lucky than u..
Don't sweat small stuff...
Impatience and laziness is the cardinal sins and the worst personality u've acquired when u always embrace negativity..it envy another bad personality to u that u will never realize till u really fall deep under..and its just will bring u more and more misery..

I believe everyone can be positive..even if they in a huge problems there's always be a silver lining..
There's always laid a path to make it better..
We just have to be patient and give our best attitude towards it..
...

Once again..I share this not because I'm the expert or feel that I'm the best of all..
I share this coz I know how it feels..I've ruined my life once and now I try to build it back..
Its difficult..but not impossible...
Its hard..its boring..but not impossible..
..
JR's

Posted via email from ninoarka's posterous

_TheEffortAsAGirl_

...
...
....My mom ever said "when you were born as a girl...it was like brought the magic and the curse at the same time..."

Well..it doesn't mean she thinks I was a curse..but she thought that raise a girl in this kind of world need more effort and carefully handle..
To teach a girl how to survive among any stereotype and be herself, fearlessly face the world with dignity and capability to pride..
Because girl was and still put under boys with many people...
Boys still thought that they deserved to put their domination and always proud of their physical strenght..

Grown up as a girl was also seems more complicated...
We brought many issues than boys could brought in..
But at the same time we put magic to it and turn it like a miracle that all people would adore and ready to die for it..
A girl..a woman inspired many kind of simple things that going huge and fabulous..going powerfull and brought wide variety of art and science....

Despite all the stereotype upon a girl..many of us had really kick most boys ass with our achievement..
We've been put down low but we fight much harder to put our names among the men till their down on our knee and adore us like crazy..
Nowadays we can told a lot of girls name in the most powerfull industries and many kind of specialty..
even if there was still problems...we haven't get fully protected yet by the law..
Few countries even banned women from various things and made them only have less choices..
Many countries even not fully committed to protect women against sexual harrasment...
That was so lame...coz women had given so much to a country...
We're an indicators of a country's wellfare..
But much girls still treated bad and desperately seeking for protection..
..

In my country they said "women are women, no matter how powerfull they are,they'll get back to the kitchen"..
Its true...we can be so powerfull..but we still a women..a lil' girl..
But it doesn't mean we're a lil' girl all the time..
God create both gender to protect each other..
To strenghten each other...
Not to gone separate ways and see who'll win the battle..
..Its worthed if we asked full support,respect and protection as we did the same to all boys when we, women, gave birth all of them..

-to be continued....-
JR's

Posted via email from ninoarka's posterous

QuoteFromAgathaChristie

..I like living..

.. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow...

but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing..
JR's

Posted via email from ninoarka's posterous

LeavingChancesTakingRisk

..
...
..I always always have faith in some other power deep within..
..In my short life..I've given many chances and choices to choose in my way to carve my path..
..

Once I thought I was gone w/ the flow..
But I'm wrong..
No matter how powerless I am..
I'm still the one who can carved my way down..
..

Most people who knows me real close known me for letting go of any good chances..as far as they knew..
Even my mom can't really understand what am I up to..
I believe my dad will do...although it was absurd coz he was dead long time ago..

they said why am I let go of a great man..a rich and well educated man who proposed me and promise me a secure life to live my life somewhere i never knew before..

If u asked me the same question..I tell u the same answer...I don't know..

I'm not consider myself to get rebellious or just go with it...
I have so much things inside me I can't even remember to be the reason why am I here by now..
I can't even remember..
..Yes,I can't..

All I know..I just have faith on it..
Just faith and hope that brought me a courage to explore something new..and to believe what I've decided is something that worth to fightin' for..
Even if someday world will proved to me that I was wrong..I put no regret..
..I shall put no regret..

For me...life was like have faith in God..
None of us really know the thruth even if we claimed so..
But none of us really know the thruth except the God itself..
But I believe that the God exist..
That supreme power exist..
I don't have to search it anywhere..
Its already deep within me..
My soul and every breathe I take is the prove that God is here..
God never leave and always near..
That's why I always can lay my life to that supreme power..
..

Each time..every time I doubt my way..
I hold on to my faith..
I'm waitin' patiently coz sooner or later everything will get answered..

I'm just 23 years old girl who lived her life far away from home..
My dream is blurr...I can't even remember..
I just knew I'll get somewhere somehow..
And I'm on it..

Most of the time I have to let go of chances to take greater risk that I feel I can put my faith onto and stick up with it..

I can take another chances later..
In life..chances always flashes..
Anytime..
Almost everytime..
So don't be afraid to runnin out of it..
Once I take a chance..I've take something with the greatest risk..
And I've been through this for quite some time now..
I don't know where it may leads..
But I have faith..if I get this right..I'll get better result..

I've made this commitment..and I'll stick to it..
No matter how much other chances that I left behind..
I'll choose this way..
And no matter how hard it is..
It will be part of my life..
Will be part of my chapters and written on my story..
..Put no regret..life is worthed in every second..
..

JR's

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_anythingUpFront_

..
...As I grown up..
Moving up from one city to another..
From suburb to a big city..and from a town to a village..
Then find myself here at the capital city..
I learn a lot..
Since I can read when I was 3...I wanna know a lot of things..
I always said and thoughts I'm not so religious that I can't believe of any miracle or any kind of heavenly intervention of my life..
But I can sure about the power of faith and hope along in my life journey..
They brought me here..being here and feel what I'm feeling right now..
I feel blessed..
Can't find any other words to describe how my ordinary life I've through felt like a magic to me..

Kinda fairy tale..I think..
Kinda horror with lots of drama and thriller going on..
LoL..

Life can be so hard..
Each time I think about it..I find my life seems easier than any other people..
When I'm going down..feeling break down..
All I can think about is how hard this things hit me..
But then again I found myself flashback all my life..
How I have supportive family and friends who always near me..
I learn about lot of things from all the people around me..
Life seems so much easier..
I find myself have a normal teenage years..
Having fun..
Be in love..
Going to college..
Have a healthy happy relationship..
Even I'm nerd I can hang outs w/ cool people..
I lived both side of world..
I'm into high and low..
I see all perspective..
I'v come with easy part and gone through hard ways..
So normal..so blessed..
I don't have to prove anyone who I am..
Coz I know what matters to me..
I don't have to show anything and I don't feel I want to..

Now I just can laugh and thanks God for what I've had..
I've break down a tears and so fallin' down to kiss the ground..but I made myself survived it..
And I don't lose myself..
I still who I am and even upgraded..
I love a better person of me after all I've been through..

Looking and hearing people who trying to find theirself by trying so hard to called "cool" or "exist" or whatever hype around is making me sad for them but also grateful to God I'm not the one who made myself that way...

Coz I still can't understand those people who really wants a stereotype put on them..
I'd rather accepted myself first than making ppl accepted me for who I am not..or just trying so hard to be that person they wanna put on them..
Its so lame..
So pathetic..
But its their prerogative..
I have no right to forbid..
All I can do is keep myself remember how lucky I am..
How great the God has given me this life..
Has given me the faith..
The path..
The way of thoughts..
For not letting me only see..but also feel..
Feelin every side..
Live on both side..
Understand both side..
And not take aside..
..

Thanks God I can live with the nerds and the cool ones in balance..
Thanks God I don't have to try so hard to be accepted..

I can't fully understand why exist is important..
I feel I'm exist..
I'm breathing..
I'm here..thinking..working..socializing..
Normally human being..
I'm already existed..
I don't have to try to be one..coz I've been..
..I am..and always be.. :)
JR's

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ComplicacyInSimpleWay

..
....Most of us not really care or never really thought what is the urge for me to think about this..
But I think there's always lesson in every bit of our time we spend in life..
..

People who cares about simpliest thing seems easy but there's a process involved..
Everytime I look around...I saw a coffee collar..a plate...a spoon..fork...umbrella..
Dispenser..safety pin..etc..
Our daily life..
Our daily lil' thing..
Dunno why I always look back..
To the past..
Before all of this was invented..
..
What would it be?..
Its just fine..
No road..
No car..
No plane..
Its just fine..
We're just fine..
But our life now much easier and somehow more complicated than it seems..
I thought we've helped in many ways..
But why life still seems so complicated?..

No one appreciate the road..or the cars..everything gone usual now..
Even there was so much great invention and revolution..
Someday it will be just a thing..
Just a thing..

....Life is so simple yet so complicated...
The effort..the idea..
The creativity..
Its not just snapped right there..
..

For just thinkin' about daily life seems so complicated...how about anything else that truly complicated?..
As the thought that said "why would I do it if somebody else would?"..
If everyone thought so...then who would done it???...
...Gotta put some respect to anyone who had done it for us..
Not just complainin' why they done it not as what u wanted to be..
..

This whole thing actually larger than life..
Its not worthed to complain about..
There's no need to made it seems complicated..
Life is just simply as it is..
And even there's complicated things going on..it won't be impossible to turn it as simple as can be..
Don't do the vice versa..
..Be positive and move ahead..
Respect every lil' simple thing we have..
We'll see our life not so complicated as it seems..
There are more complicated things out there than ours..
The simple thing that actually has the real complicacy..

JR's

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